R17 16 Ride Out Day 2: You Brought Her

I Need a Detail Map of Sac City Because We Went Everywhere

After checking in to the hotel, and saying good-bye to the RM (they were going to eat across the street--remember that really slow Swedish-milk-maid waitress? Hahaha.), we decided we would ditch our gear in the room, throw on civilian clothes, forego showers, and head into town with our new friend Mary.

She wanted to show us off and show us the town. 

So, I said good-bye  and fuck off to the Mayor and headed over to my hotel room, that I would share with my best friend Steven. 

But the Mayor didn't listen. Oh no. Once a hotel room had been acquired, and he wasn't on the hook for it financially, well, he would just waltz right in and make himself at home. That is when I decided to stop looking at him for the evening. 

I was so annoyed. 

But, Mary was waiting, so we tossed on our TB t-shirts and headed back out into the heat. Mary loaded us all into her truck and we headed down the hill into town. I glanced at the campground as we drove by--it looked miserable. I was happy with our air conditioned choice. We turned on to a side street and parked in front of one of the bars: "The Place on State." 

Now, this was my kind of place. Dark. Cool. Slightly dank. It was like a meditation cave after the frenetic heat and energy of the day. We bellied up to the bar and Mary bought us a round. I chatted up the tiny, perhaps middle-aged, short-haired very drunk lady next to me, and Steven made friends with the bartender. 

As with everyone, we tried to convince them to come on ragbrai. 

After our first round, I bought a round for everyone sitting at the bar, and the Mayor bought me a shot of whiskey. He always does this when he is outpacing me. He wants to help me catch up. 

I met one of the guys at the bar, whose name was "Banger." He told the story of having brought a couple ladies to a party--one pretty, one ugly. His friend hooked up with the pretty one, and he was left with he ugly one. His friend said, "you brought her, you bang her," and the name stuck. 

Hero. 

Banger and I talked about Des Moines, and Iowa, and whatever. Somehow in the middle of all this cheap beer pounding, Steven decided to help the bartender (Stacy?) with a table behind us. She brought their drinks to the table, and then took the money from the old guy who bought the round. The guy was only going to give Stacy a $1 for six drinks, so Steven in her charming, silly, badgering way managed to shame the dude into coughing up a $5 tip. 

My new friends! 

Essentially, we owned this bar, and I would have happily sat here all night, making friends, pounding High Lifes, and eating those tiny packets of peanuts (no Munchos to be found), but Mary started talking about doing to Dominos. 

"Dominos? Huh?" I thought. It seemed strange that there would be a Dominos in such a small town. And I thought we were going to the Viking bar for dinner. "Meh," I thought, "drunk ass cyclists with no cars can't be choosers, so I settled up, tottered back out into the sunshine and climbed into the truck again.

Dominos it is.