No Longer Private

Okay, I give. I hate being private. I need to put it all out there, regardless of the consequences.

The last month+ has been a bit tough.
I slacked.
Then, I got motivated to get back after it.
Then, I got hurt.
Then, I couldn't move.
Then, all I could think of was getting back to working out.
Then, when I felt I finally could start working out, I didn't want to get out of bed.

So, that's where I am at now. Thinking about working out. Doing my little PT-routine each night. Planning to really work out, but actually getting my biscuit out of bed has been a challenge.

Procrastination is a nasty habit in my family, but the countdown doesn't lie. Here's hoping I can get going again.

Response and Responsibility: Life Coaching Part 3

Yeah, I got a life coach. Before you get all schoffy, you had better read this and this. 

So, I have this life coach, and while I am not 100% sold on the process, I am making some real progress on the art project that is my life (and losing weight, and riding my bike).*

*It should be noted that I have not lost any actual weight or ridden my bike at all, but that is besides the point. 

One thing that kept coming up in my discussions with Sara was the Tiger. This is related because my relationships are my "primary" food, so we talked.

We talked in the Mars Cafe.

We talked while riding the short Moffitt Loop (riding hills while complaining about your boyfriend is great cardio, by the way. Just imagine: he (puff) just (puff) doesn't (gasp) seem (puff) to (huff) understand (whimper followed by a cough) me.)

We talked again at the Mars Cafe. 

The Tiger and I have been having a bit of a rocky time. Nothing in particular was wrong, but it felt like we were on separate icebergs, floating in opposite directions, yelling in different languages. We were fighting a lot, and when we weren't fighting we just felt distant and alone. 

My usual response rough patches in a relationship is to just run away (which is kind of what I did all summer). But, I ended up talking to Sara about this stuff a lot. Like a lot a lot. And she suggested that I take some time to work on my relationship. She sent us to this website, the 5 Love Languages (also, seemingly very cosmic and very corny).

Finally, after I am sure she was ready to talk about something else, Sara had asked me something about responsibility for problems in my relationship.  I made a joke about it being 85% the Tiger's fault (joke!). At the end of our session, she came back and asked me to think about my responses and responsibility. 

Responses were important. I needed to be responding to the Tiger, rather than reacting. So, when he did something really jerky, like when he told me "this is not where these shoes go" after I put his shoes away for him the night before, I needed to take a breathe, think, and respond, rather than just verbally slapping him. For those of you who know me (oh wait, that's all of you) is hard. 

The other thing she mentioned was whether I was taking responsibility for my life. "I am just wondering if you are really showing up for yourself."

Good question. And, I think the answer is no. If I was "really showing up for myself" crazy, dangerous, awesome stuff could happen. Because, let's face it, I am awesome.

So here's what I did.

Last week, I went to Normal, Illinois for a conference, but I asked Billy if we could schedule some time to "talk" on Sunday. I insisted that we meet off-site, thinking it would keep us from yelling/crying/walking away from what would probably be a tough conversation. And, so we talked. In the parlance of my friends, we call this a 90-minute discussion (thanks Jessica!), and it was rocky, but it was good. We cleared out some of the rubble and opened some new channels for communication. 

I requested that the Tiger have an "Explicit Daily Conversation" (EDC) with me at least once a day. He can't say things like, "I don't know what you are thinking you might want to have for dinner." 

(I learned at my conference that he was relying on a thing called and enthymemes--unstated concepts buried in statements like "the baby has a dirty diaper."). 

And, the Tiger asked that we make a loose, weekly schedule for who is doing what and who is responsible for dog walking when. And, that I not discuss anything important in the morning. 

The plan is to have another 90 minute conversation next month to see how we are doing. And, things have been better. We are happier and closer and things are going more smoothly. Because things are going better with this "primary" food, I have efficacy to work on the more real food in my life: like food-food. 

And, there you have it. I have a life coach. I am eating kale. I am having 90-minute conversations, and I love it. The start of the journey to the Copper Triangle has not been as smooth as I would have liked, but a little pain and suffering early on, I believe, may have cleared the path to a smoother course in the future. 

Put Me In (Life) Coach. I am (Almost) Ready to Play Part 2

So, each week, Sara, my life coach (yes, I have a life coach. If you want to know more, you can read about it here) gives me homework. 

My first piece of homework was to add more leafy greens to my diet.

I like leafy greens. I adore leafy greens. I can eat arugula by the bucket full. And, I have no problem with chard and kale. Spinach is not my fav, but I still buy it and eat it. 

So I thought this homework would not be a problem. 

Wrong. 

Sara gives me homework on Wednesday, but because I am so busy, I often think about it throughout the week and don't execute it until the following Wednesday, or sometimes never. 

At first, I thought, well, you are just not taking this seriously, Rice. You need to lock this up. Then, this week, when I was supposed to be trying to eat something other than dairy and grains for breakfast, I thought about what is going on with me and my homework. As I ate granola and yogurt, no less. 

It is not that I am not doing my homework. It is that it just takes me more than a week to do it. It took me several weeks to get enough time to both do the grocery shopping and the cooking and make some kale. We had steaks and kale and salad for dinner and it was great!

Kale makes you feel good. Hurray!

Today, I went to Lexi's house and pillaged the garden for greens. Her garden is more like a plantation, so it wasn't a big deal to steal some kale, chard, and arugula. Delicious, nutrious, locally-grown, organic-ish greens, and, best of all: free. 

Big old box of progress right there.

My homework is complete, I am just a bit behind schedule. It is not that I am not making progress, it is just slower than expected, but as long as it gets done, that is all that matters, right?

I'll have to keep working on the "being mindful of cravings" and "trying to not eat dairy for breakfast and see how I feel homework" but I have a feeling those are going to be very late. 

(Sara, I am pretty sure, is working on getting me back to a Paleo-ish style of eating. Lots of vegetables and lean meats, nuts, etc. but not so much sugar and grain and dairy. I agree with the need to ditch the sugar and grains, but not eating yogurt or cottage cheese for breakfast is tough!)

I have had some other success from my life coaching experience, but you'll have to wait for the next post for those.

Why Yes, I Did Get a Life Coach, You Got a Problem with That? Part 1

You heard me right. I have a life coach. And, yes, I acknowledge the potentially highly douche-new-age-cosmic-tendency of this statement.

Here's what happened. I know a gal who is a USA Cycling Certified coach. We used to do H2K together and she's on VeloRosa and she's a cool chick, so I emailed her to see if she could help and/or coach me on the great cycling journey that is before me: the road to the Copper Triangle.

She agreed to meet me and tell me what she could do for me. We met at Smokey Row coffee shop. Sara, I'll call her Sara because that is her name, told me that she didn't think that she could help with the cycling stuff too much, but she could help with some other stuff, i.e. the crazy.

Sara Being Awesome

Her cycling coaching was mainly for leading a group with the Team in Training out to Lake Tahoe, but she's trying to get started doing the whole life-coaching thing. She wants to help people with their nutrition and fitness goals, through a holistic approach. She told me she helps you consider your "primary foods" (family, friends, work, etc.) so that you can make better choices for your "secondary foods" (food).

So, we chatted, and she seemed like she was picking up what I was putting down. And, she is also a freelance writer. And a yoga teacher. And she's raced bikes. And, she has curly hair. So, I decided, what the heck. I was thinking of getting a shrink anyway, so maybe this would be like a shrink with yoga.

Here's how it goes. Sara and I meet once a week (there is also a every other week plan, but that doesn't include "movement" sessions. [Movement means exercise]). Every other week we meet in a coffee shop to just chat about my goals, what is going on in my life, and how I am working on changes. Opposite weeks we do movement. Once we rode bikes, and last week we did yoga.

Every week I get some homework:

• Pay attention to your sugars
• Add more leafy greens
• Notice your grain intake
• Try to eat non-dairy stuff for breakfast

Please know that I am a little suspect of this whole process. It seems very squishy. Forming mantras, calling exercise "movement," and giving up dairy all are very much on the "cosmic" side of things for me. It is a weird situation, like paying for a friend but also owning up and answering for some of the things that are keeping me achieving my goals. 

I have not completely decided how I feel about this process. But, it doesn't hurt to try something new, especially from the bottom of a potential rut. Of course, I don't know how this will go in the long run, but there has been some success, but that will be decided in a future blog.

Why I went private...

If you are reading this, you know that I made this blog private. 

I know it is annoying for those of you who now have to log in to read my stunning prose, so here's an explanation.

I started using Google Docs a lot more with my students, but because I am not that smart, I just used my current Google account--lewisandclarkcrush--rather than making a separate one. Dum. 

Now, I am paranoid my students will find my blog and read it.  Or my colleagues, or my health insurance company.  

Second reason: I want to know who actually reads this blog. 

Third reason: I just like the intimacy of my tiny audience of readers.  You know who you are, and now, so I do I.

So, if you have someone who might like it, please pass their google handle on to me and I will give them permission. Or if you are having problems, let me know and I will try to troubleshoot. 

Thanks for reading, though. I appreciate your love and support and readership. 

XOXO, Rice.

Guest Blog: The Mayor's New Bike(s): Part 1 Getting Head(sets)

Better hope you like them, grand kids.

"These headsets are way too expensive but they have 110 year warranty."--The Mayor

And, why not?

Regarding this bike project, Steven texted me: "[The Mayor] is opening all his bike parts and has a perma woody. A carbon fiber light weight woody."

Doesn't sound very effective if you ask me. Somethings just should not be carbon.

Fun With Physical Therapy

Monday morning I got up early, showered, dressed and headed to physical therapy at Mercy Riverside Rehab. The only problem: my appointment was on Tuesday. 

Wait, what day is it?

Tuesday I got up early, showered, dressed and headed to physical therapy at Mercy Riverside Rehab, and it was great. I "warmed up" on a "recumbent elliptical," then did some stretches on a table and a ball. Then, I got a bit of a massage, then some electro-shock-therapy--which sort of feels something between getting a tattoo and getting a massage. 

On Monday and Tuesday both I visited my chiropractor, who, may I quote, said I was "all kinds of messed up." 

And, lo and behold, I am feeling a bit better.  It still hurts to drive, even with the recommended hand-towel-lumbar-hack. And, it still takes me about 3 minutes to extricate myself from said car. It is unfortunate that my work requires driving 45 minutes twice a day. 

New rule: my hypothetical future car must have good lumbar support.

It still hurts to stand after sitting in most chairs. It especially hurts to sit in my office chair. And, standing for a long time starts to hurt. It is like my right leg is longer than my left. 

But, I am feeling better. Part of me feeling better has been the "stretch-homework" I get at physical therapy.  Two or three times a day, I get on the floor or on the bed and stretch. Those stretches help me feel better and move forward with my day.

Just like this, but imagine curly hair.

That, in turn, has sort of inspired me. Last week, I felt completely helpless, because, being unable to move for the most part, I was completely helpless. 

Depths of despair email.

I even emailed Sara and cancelled my appointment with her. I didn't save her response to this email, but she wrote back that even though "survival mode" feels like all we can do is eat crap, all those sugars and processed foods can make us feel worse. Sugar makes us feel more inflammation, blah blah blah. She encouraged me to keep eating positively. 

At the time, I thought, "yeah right." I could barely make it to the kitchen, let alone massage some raw kale so that it is easier to eat. (Another suggestion.)

But, I feel different this week. This week, I have learned that there are some things that I can do to help myself--stretching helps.  

While I can't do everything I'd like, I can do some stuff: 

• I can control what I eat and I can eat better.
• I can do some exercising, like walking the dog, and maybe swimming. 
• I can keep stretching. 
• I can hack my life for less back-pain, i.e. keep rattling cages for my standing desk, investing in a yoga ball for sitting, and standing up when I need to stand up--like right now.

I don't usually read Steve-Oh in a Speedo, mostly because his amazing feats of athleticism make me feel like a slug in comparison, but I when I saw his title, I wandered over there. 

I am not alone!

Reading about someone else who is injured really helped. While he was frustrated and hurting, he still had a positive outlook that included some adorable instagramming of the things he still can do. 

I can look at my current predicament in a negative light: I only have 300 days to lose weight, get in climbing shape, and I am in lots of pain, and I can't sit, and driving sucks, and it is going to take forever to feel better. 

Or I can look at it in a positive light: I still have 300+ days to get ready for the CT, and riding my bike is fun, and I can be a positive influence on my pain, and sitting is the new smoking anyway, so painful sitting is keeping me moving, and I will eventually get better, and I get twice weekly massages at P.T., and I am sleeping great with my painkiller+muscle relaxant pain killers. 

It doesn't take any more effort to be positive than it does to be negative, but it sure is a lot more fun.