Your Knee is My Knee, and My Knee is Your Knee

Oh, hey, it's Friday, June 24th.

I feel like I have been in a worm-hole for the past week, week and a half. Blame it on the sinus-sludge that moved into my nasal cavity last Thursday, then decided to flip that property and take up residence in my lungs. There it decided to remodel the joint with a tubercular cough and backyard phlegm production facility.

Seriously, despite all the Claritin, my life has seemed anything but clear.

In addition to feeling like a large, slow-moving, sinus-pressure induced slug, here's some of the things that have been happening:

1. Lexi left last week for a trip to Montana. Lexi, as many of you know, is my gym buddy. I can personally testify that having a gym buddy helps you get your business to the gym, and when you don't have a gym buddy, it's much, much, much harder to get your biscuit out the door.

While in Montana, Lexi simultaneously fell in love with a hunky Aussie and got stuck in the massive flooding that is taking over the Missouri valley watershed. Her plans to return home on Tuesday, June 22, were thwarted. She didn't get back to town, Aussie in tow, until yesterday.

Not only did I not manage to make it to the gym, I also worked some of her hours at her family-run store, Back Country. I was happy to work, but it made for some unforeseeable opportunities for excuses in the fitness department. More than that, Lexi's my rock, my gal-pal, who I run everything, and I mean everything, by, and she hasn't been around to verify that I am not messing up my life too bad. I'm feeling a little angsty.

2. This weekend is the Des Moines Arts Festival, which is fabulous. If you haven't been, don't scoff. It's one of the top festivals in the country. Last year, Lexi hosted a very nice artist named Nick, who makes super-cool wood cuts. Because she is out of town again this weekend, she asked if the White Tiger and I could take over guest-duties. My default answer to everything is yes. It was only Wednesday, June 22, when I realized hosting lovely Nick and his lady friend would involve me having to remove approximately 74 pounds of dog hair from the interior of my home and vacating my office/closet for the weekend.

3. We've been planning to make some improvements in the kitchen for a while now. Billy bought the dishwasher, and we bought the sink. We fielded estimates and got measurements taken, and, at some point, in the not so distant future, the kitchen would get a little facelift. Little did I know that would be this weekend. Wednesday night, after I had spent the evening cleaning the rest of the house, the contractor* announced that he would be arriving at 8am on Thursday morning (the same day Nick arrived!), so we had to clear out all the drawers and give up the use of our kitchen for a day, or a day and a half, or a few days, it's unclear.

*Because we are using NFC financing, we have to have improvements done by a contractor. If you don't know what the NFC is, it's a program that helps get yuppies like us to move in to and fix up slightly ghetto neighborhoods. In exchange, they offer forgivable loans for home improvement projects. Cha-ching!

4. Last Saturday, the White Tiger hurt his knee again. He injured it in the winter of 2009 and had surgery, but it healed, and this summer we've been enjoying some happy-couple bike riding. On Saturday, we were about to embark on a bike ride around the greater Bondurant, Iowa area, when he took a wrong turn and something in the knee department went haywire. He's been laid up and bummed out because he can't ride bikes or walk around and we keep referring to him as "crutchy." I'd gotten so spoiled riding bikes with him, I am loathe to go alone. On Monday, he went to the doctor. Today, he met with the surgeon. His surgery is scheduled for next Thursday.

And, what was my reaction to this news? In true, totally-selfish form, I responded, "but what about my bike ride?" I had been planning to conclude the SBVSBC with a 100-mile brewery tour around the front range with the Mayor and the Boss and Small One. I had even convinced Lexi's hunky Aussie man friend to join me for the 100-Mile Bicycle and Beer Ride for Freedom (100BBRF) over the Fourth of July holiday.

If El Tigre Blanco is in surgery on Thursday that means he won't be capable of fending for himself on Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or Monday. He will need someone to refresh his White Russians and fluff his pillows and fight off marauding raccoons. Little Miss Holiday will need a functional set of human legs to let her outside and replenish her kibble, and, I guess, that's my job.

My disappointment should be tempered with the fact that I am taking care of the person I love. That in committing my life to the Tiger, I knew I would be in it for the good and the bad, and that when I need someone to refresh my White Russians, I would have someone there in kind. Alas, my personal growth and maturation are about as slow and halting as the hacking climb of the sinus-induced sludge making its way out of my lungs.

The White Tiger's bum knee has been a major bummer, not only because I have to use my knees to do jobs that used to be the Tiger's responsibilities: trash removal, carrying ungrilled meats down the stairs, carrying grilled meats up the stairs, some minor puppy walking, pre-artist bathroom cleaning. His bum knee is a bummer because it means he can't ride his bike, or walk around at the art festival.

Rather than being bummed out, though, the Tiger is taking all this in stride. He's been telling people he bought it at a garage sale so he figured he might as well get some use out of it.

Why is it so hard for me to accept that the Tiger's suffering, obviously, clearly trumps my need to have fun and drink beer? I mean, I can ride bikes and drink beer whenever I want! I should be focused on helping the Tiger heal, so that he can ride bikes and drink beer again. It's like I have to actually remind myself to not be a selfish jerk, that el Tigre didn't do this on purpose, that accidents happen, and that this is what being in a real grown up relationship is all about.

We are supposed to be sharing our lives, our future, our dog-walking responsibilities, so that means, we share our knees. If el Tigre's knees need a little breaky, well, I am the person who's supposed to be there to help him out.

In the end, things will turn out for the best. We'll have a dishwasher! We'll have new artist and Australian friends! The White Tiger might finally get that robo-knee he's been dreaming about! My sinuses will clear up and TWT's knee will be better than ever! And, I might, eventually, and begrudgingly, appreciate that being in love means being a team, the White Tiger's knee is my knee, and my knees are his.

SBVSBC: Revision?

Let me just say, I know, at the outset of this revision, that the amount of crap I get from the Mayor for this revision, is probably equal to the amount of milk, the Boss has pumped since their small one came into the world. Hundreds and hundreds of ounces of crap.

That being said, I am offering a revision to my SBVSBC goals. At the outset, I suggested I should only get two drinky days a week, and if I had more than two drinky days, I would lose 100 points. It was my idea, no one else's.


But, this clauses of my SBVSBC is making me miserable! It's June in Iowa. Nice weather happens here on the same time frame as the solar eclipses, and there are lots of patios to be sat on, barbeques to attend, and bike rides to be refreshed.

Also, when I only have two drinky days a week, I hurt myself making up for lost time.

Also, when I only have two drinky days a week, I drink pop, which is really bad.

Also, when I only have two drinky days a week, people think I am being sanctimonious and stop inviting me to hang out with them, including my own boyfriend!

My fabulousness cannot be contained!

Therefore, I propose the following revision.

1 free drinky day a week
2 drinks per non-drinky day per week
-10 points per beverage for every beverage over 2 on non-drinky days

To put it more clearly, I have one free day a week. After than, if I have more than two drinks per day, I lose 10 points per drink.

That being said, I am going to make a good faith effort to keep it clean and healthy. If there's one thing that having only two drinky days a week has taught me, is that non-drinky days are nice, and I feel good when I am non-drinky. And, I know the consequences for drinking in relation to my larger goals of ass-r

So, I am putting it up to you fellow SBVSBC participants and blog-o-friends. Does this seem fair? Does it seem like I am wimpy out? Should I just suck it up for the next 2 weeks?

Bummer Life: Blog it Out

Uh, Steven, have you forgot one of the conditions of the SBVSBC?

Firefox says that your blog is one of my most visited websites, so I am going to need some new content, okay?

Just teasing! I know that Steven, and Caddy, and Kyrna are all working hard. And, this challenge, is added pressure on already challenging lives.

[This blog is going to be more about mental fitness than physical fitness, so feel tuned to change the channel.

Very slowly, I've been reading back-issues of Steven's blog. We sort of lost touch after college, and she had a very exciting life. Now that we are reunited, and it feels so good, I feel the need to get a little refresher on the last 5 or so years. And, one of the things that I really enjoy is that her blog isn't just about running and teaching. It's about her life, her marriage, her successes, both in and out of running shoes. So, this is my attempt to add a little more of the rest of Lauren to my blogs.]

I know June's been challenging for me. I've had a lot of time to think while walking the dog this month, and I've been feeling a little blue. I am not sure if it's just the underachievement blues, the it won't stop raining blues, or some greater ennui.

June has been hard. For one, my bff is moving, and I am not taking it well. I am proud of him, and I know that we will still be friends, but distance certainly makes things more challenging. And, I am not the best at my long distance friendships (sorry, Marthy!).

For two, I got my course evaluations back from my first semester teaching full time at Newton Campus, and they were not good. I've never in my career had bad evaluations. Usually, there's one angry student, but for the most part, I've gotten really positive feedback. Not this time. I made Billy hide the actual documents from me, but the hostile words keep ringing through my mind every time I have a quiet moment. The worst part, is that I thought the semester was going really well. I know that this is an opportunity to work harder, do better, etc. but it breaks my heart that so many of my students, who I love, felt like I let them down.

For three, my credit card got stolen. I don't know how. The actual card is in my possession, but somehow, some inventive person in Dallas tried to buy $200 worth of stuff at Wal-Mart. I find it affirming that Chase knew that it was not, could not, be me making that purchase and declined the charge. I didn't lose any money, but I feel so violated.

For four, my poor Mazda is not what she used to be, and I am feeling a little stifled. I was hoping that I could do some road tripping this summer to visit my friends and family around the midwest, but the Mazda is making some odd noises. I start getting paid for the summer term at the end of the month, which will be awesome, but until then, I can't really go anywhere. And, the Mazda-noises raise the other looming dilemma, the inevitable need to buy a new car. With my new job, I have a 60 mile commute, and at some point, that will be beyond the means of the Mazda. Of course, if issue No. 2 persists, I won't have to worry about issue No. 4....

For five, my throat hurts. Meh.

So, I just keep trying to avoid the bummer life, and exercise helps. So does thinking about RAGBRAI, and the 100-mile Boulder Freedom Ride, and eating ice cream with my lady friends after a hard yoga class, and sunshine, when we get it.

SBVSBC: Stuff I am Learning

1. Bikes--so my bike was in the shop this weekend. I dropped it off with my Jedi Knight of a bike mechanic on Thursday night. He finished it up on Saturday evening. Boy, was that a weird couple of days. I felt so naked, so disenfranchised. There were all these Freds running around the farmer's market, including this one in Bike World shorts holding a fluffy little dog. I wanted to be out there with them, wearing the spandex and goofy shoes that would let them know I am a part of their tribe, but I couldn't.




















I think this means I need a new bicycle. That way, I can take my old bicycle to get routine maintenance and not have a major emotional breakdown. Or, I should have married a bike mechanic, like Steven.

2. Beer--so part of my SBVSBC is to not drink more than 2 days a week. The reason why is three-fold.

a) Beer is caloric, like super caloric, and it goes down so smooth and easy that before you know it, you've consumed a turkey dinner's worth of calories. Also alcohol, I've heard but not confirmed, is hard on the old metabolism.

b) Beer is expensive.

c) I like beer better when I am consuming it mindfully. I don't want to be a non-drinker, but I also don't want to drink out of habit or boredom. Rather than reaching for a beer because it's 6:00, I want to reach for a beer because I really, truly, want a beer.

The results, so far for the SBVSBC beer-element have been mixed. I like not having problem a, and I like not having problem b. The problem, though, has been when my drinky days come around, I feel like I've got to pack a week's worth of drinky into one day. The last two Saturdays have heralded raucous parties: Matt C's wedding and Frank's kareoke going away party, so I've tried to make the best of my drinky days. The last two Sundays have not been so fun.

Also, when I am out on a non-drinky day, I usually drink water or club soda, but occasionally I order a Coke. Swapping beer for corn syrup is an out of the frying pan and into the fire situation.

So, I will continue with the SBVSBC, but when July arrives, I guess I will have learned something about my personality and moderation?

3. Bmotivation--(needed another b word), so while I am motivated by the point-o-meter, I am finding that my workout motivation ebbs and flows. Somedays I am super gung-ho, like last Wednesday when I worked out with Gwyn and went on a long bike ride. Somedays, not so much.

For example, when my fitness buddy, Lexi can't make it to the gym in the morning, I am a lot more likely to skip myself, like today. The idea of going to they gym alone to lift weights so kind of depressing. Of course, the idea of losing the SBVSBC is also depressing. Which one will win?

A Few Clarifications: I Stand By My (Team) Beaver

As a new week of the SBVSBC dawns, a few clarifications are in order.

A) Steven's pumping is not a workout, it's a handicap. "It's more interesting than just counting double points for my runs," she stated in a confirmation phone call this morning. Many people have expressed the idea that it's "not fair" for Steven to pump, because "she would have to do that anyway." Yes, that's true, but the reason she is pumping is also the reason she isn't up to full running speed. Small one!

While I was aware of this situation, I wanted to confirm it with several doubters, including my trainer Gwyn. While panting on the treadmill, I clarified the situation with Gwyn, who says, it's cool, "if that's where she is right now, that's where she is." So Zen for a trainer. The only thing that's not cool is the smack talk coming out of those boobs, dang! Why they got to be so mean???

B) Doggy walks are going to start counting: I am going to retroactively add my dog walking points to my point totals. I was leaving them out before, but now they are going in. Otherwise, how am I going to beat these hardcore ladies?

C) Kyrna's points are calculated as thus:
2 points--Tracking my WW points online each day.
10 points -- Stay within my WW points and don't use any WW bonus points for the day
10 points -- for each 30-minute walk
5 points -- for each time I walk my errands
10 points -- Mowing the lawn
10 points -- Each pound lost.
Minus 100 points if I drink any Diet Coke
Also, she is kicking butt. Also, she needs a blog.

D) When you do lunges the "right way" they hurt.

E) I am so going to win this challenge. Steven has kindly offered to amend the point totals so that her pumping will only count as .5 points. To that I say, NO! I don't need coddling from my Beaver Challengers. I am going to win. I say, double your boob points if you want, Super Beaver is ready for the challenge.

Vacation: Fun is Going to Cost You

The first week of my SBVSBC ends today, and the results were mixed. I started out slow, a few points here, a few points there, then on Friday, I left for a wedding/mini-vacation in South Dakota.

Normally, I would have given the Heartbreaker the weekend off, but since I am in the midst of the SBVSBC, I asked if we could bring her along. With four people, camping gear, luggage, and bikes in my friend Frank's Saturn, space was a little tight.














Thankfully, Frank and Laurel were National Merit Scholars so they really, really good at packing.















We left early Friday morning, before I could get to the YMCA, so without any points, I embarked on an 11 hour car ride. Thankfully, Laurel made sandwiches: mmm...procuitto-goodness, and we passed the long, prairie-lined hours with the tales of Sea Biscuit and making a list of things that are "awkward and embarrassing" that we were strictly NOT allowed to do at the wedding.















The most exercise I got was scaring some kids away from a Sinclair dinosaur so I could climb on myself. Careful, those dinosaurs are hot!














We got into Custer State Park at dusk, set up camp, and I attempted to take a short bike ride around the park, but I was thwarted by gravel roads + racing tires + diminishing light. .3 points.

On Saturday, we got up, made some breakfast and figured out what we would do with our day. It was decided that we would go to see Mount Rushmore, then have an early lunch in the town of Custer, before heading back to the campground for a hike, then shower, dress, and wedding time.

The Rush and lunch were great, but I was so ready to be out of the car and doing something with my antsy self. We returned to the campground around 1 and went our separate exercise ways. I hopped on the Heartbreaker and headed up the Needles Highway.

The first mile or so was just like something you read about in Bicycling magazine: curvy roads, the scent of pine, boulder-strewn landscapes, babbling brooks, the works. But, it was up hill, a long ways up a hill, which is not something I am accustomed to in Iowa. I plugged along, taking short "breakies" as required, I just kept reminding myself of how amazing it would be go back down, and made it to the top, which, was, awesome.














Here's me with some rocks. I am going to have to get Steven to give me some self-portrait tips. I always end up with a lot of nostril in my shots.















Here's the Heartbreaker, with the Needles. I am so proud of her.

Then, I looked at my tripometer: 1.5 miles, is that all? I had busted my biscuit to get up there and I didn't get very far. Dang. So, I careened down the hill, and headed up another big hill to the hotel. More long and uphillness; even the parking lot was steep, but I had to keep pedaling because there were some young people in the parking lot and I didn't want to take a breakie right in front of them. Again, going back down, awesome.

After about an hour, I headed back to our campsite to get dolled up. Points: 6.5, though there should be some glory padding in those numbers.

The wedding, for my friend Matt Couch and his lovely bride, was lovely. It was right on a very pretty lake, and the reception was in a lodge, and there was O'Dells IPA! Yum. Frank and I tore up the dance floor, but probably not enough to count as a super Beaver workout. Then, at the end of the night, we headed back to camp.

Sunday morning was a bit hard. Bottomless O'Dells will do that to you, sigh. So we had some eggs, broke camp, and re-packed the car. Here's what the bikes looked like on the car. The Heartbreaker is best friends with Lexi's Pig.















We went on a mini-hike around the lake.














Then, we got back in the car. And, we drove and drove. We stopped in Rapid City for lunch. Then, we drove through Badlands National Park, where we took some mini-hikes and saw some mountain goats and prairie dogs.















Then we drove and drove and listened to Sea Biscuit and drove and drove until we got to Kennebec, South Dakota, population 284. All they have in this town is a steak house, a gas station and an incredibly over priced KOA. We set up camp, ate steaks, and went to bed. I am giving myself 2 points for mini-hikes.

Of course, I woke up super early, showered, and packed all I could until the rest of the crew was showered and ready to go so I did a little KOA Kriterium around the campground, which was gravel. I got about a mile in. Then we drove and drove and ate eggs and drove some more. We got home around 3:30 in the afternoon, and I had to get the Heartbreaker home, so I rode it from Lexi's. Frank brought my luggage. Again 2 points.

As you can see from the SBVSBC-o-meters I am way behind in points. I am going to have to ride my biscuit off in order to catch up with Pointy MaGee, Pumpy MaGee, and that nice gal from Canada.

On a positive note, despite 11 hours in a car on Friday, I resisted the urge to immediately jump out of the car and start drinking. Instead, I drank water, just in case I might need another drinky night this week. That means, I can have a beer at Tacopacalypse tonight if I want.