Super Boobs Versus Super Beaver Challenge: I Accept

Last week, a new Youtube meme rocked the micro universe of the fitness-mommy-bicycling-boob-demographic blog-o-sphere. A new fitness-motivational-challenge arose from the west: the Super Boobs Versus Super Beaver Challenge. Hitherto-for known as SBVSBC, which sort of looks like an acronym for a Swiss bank.


"What the hell?" you might be wondering.

Last year, my friend and fellow blogger, Steven, challenged me to the RAGBRAI Royalty Challenge, which involved exercise, weight loss, and a complicated system of point keeping. The victor would receive RAGBRAI specific benefits such as tent-putting up and free beer. Not only did I lose that challenge, I lost with infamy. Steven, who was secretly pregnant at the time, lost more weight than me while growing a baby. FAIL!

This year, things are going to be different. Though I starting this challenge off a bit intimidated by Steven's incredibly video editing skills, I will rally all of the forces of fitness to destroy her come the end of June.

Here's how the SBVSBC works.

Starting June 1st with weeks going Wednesday to Wednesday Steven and I will work on building points.

Steven, a.k.a. Super Boobs, will receive points thusly:
1 point per oz of boob juice pumped
1 point per mile run
-100 points per week with runs totaling less than 3
-100 points for more than 3 diet cokes per week

Norman, a.k.a. Super Beaver, will receive points thusly:
1 point per mile ridden
10 points per weight lifting session
5 points per "Super Beaver" workout, such as H.E.A.T. class
-100 point for weeks with more than 2 "drinky" days

Fine Print
*points must be tabulated on a page on each blog
*points must be updated each week
*any revisions must be approved by both parties

To honor the end of the SBVSBC, Steven, the Mayor, and myself will re-enact Steven's 28th birthday Century Ride in which she rode 100 miles to various breweries along Colorado's Front Range. The winner will receive free beer at each stop, along with a loud proclamation of awesomeness at each brewery.

BONUS Dog-a-Thon Challenge
In January, Steven and I attempted to complete the "Janathon," a walk/run/jog/exercise/blog challenge for the month of January. Contestants were supposed to walk/run/jog/exercise/blog everyday for the month.

The creature who benefited the most from this adventure, of course, was Holiday, who got to go outside on a walk everyday. Of course, as a four month old who had spent her entire life in a kitchen, she wasn't very good at walking. She gave up a lot. Now, at nearly 9 months (ahh...), she loves walking and jogging as long as there is plenty of time for sniffing.

So, Holiday would like to offer up a challenge to her puppy long distance pal, Tuque. Let's call it the Dog-June-A-Thon. The dog who goes for a walk or jog each day in the month of June will receive an awesome dog treat presented by the losing dog and will be declared the 2011 Fitness Blogger's Best Friend Dog of the Year.

Of course, a big part of the June-a-thon is blogging, but dogs, you might know, are terrible bloggers! They don't speak or write English, so I suggest doggy miles be recorded on a new page on our blogs.
















Holiday's up for the challenge: Tuque, are you?

Victory! And Ass-O-Meter Update

VICTORY!

Last week, I declared, as well as you can declare in blog-form, that I needed a victory. I'd been stuck in a Bermuda Triangle of fitness. I wasn't really gaining weight, but I wasn't really losing any weight. It was depressing me. I was losing confidence, I was losing steam, I was losing the area known as my neck.

So, last week, I decided to go for the win. I would work my rear end off to lose two pounds in a week, or so. (My previous weigh in had been on Friday, May 13th and I declared the mini-challenge on Monday, 16th. I didn't weigh myself again until yesterday, May 24th). And, I did it!

In fact, I lost 6 pounds. Boo-yah. Of course, there is always 3 pounds of give and take because of water, time weighed in, big meals, blah, blah, blah, but I consider that a victory. It's so much a victory that I have officially updated the Ass-o-Meter.













How did I do it? Well, for starters, I weigh a lot, so when I exercise, I burn off a lot of calories. I did try to up the ante when it came to exercise. And, I really tried to watch what I ate during the week. I held off the booze until the weekend, and even then, I tried to moderate what I was drinking. I gave myself Sunday completely off from calorie counting, but I tried to get a solid workout in.

What did I learn? My week was awesome. I felt really good. I was eating well, sleeping well, and taking good care of myself. I felt more confident in my clothes, I slept better, and I think I was more productive. In my book, that's a win. And, it inspires me to want to keep winning (I knew it would).

Next up, I want to lose two more pounds this week. That will put me back at my Juice challenge winning weight: 217. I don't want to get over confident, what with Memorial Day and a wedding going down in the next couple of weeks, but I've got some benchmarks I would like to start hitting and this was one of them.

So, the slump has been busted. The Triangle has been navigated. Victory begets victory. Now, it's time to get serious. Thankfully, there's a serious challenge coming my way in June. Who knows, I may be able to update the Ass-O-Meter image from what you see, to something like this:

Two Days In!

Dear Supportive Blog-Friends,

I am two days into my 2-pounds in a week mini-challenge. And, I wanted to let you know, because I know you are counting on me, I am rocking it. Not to brag...okay, to brag, but I have been very good to myself both Monday and Tuesday, and I feel fabulous.

On Monday, I took the dog for a half-an-hour dog-jog (there is a lot of walking breakies and stops to sniff). Then, I went to the Y with Lexi and lifted weights. I worked at the store in the afternoon, which got me off my butt, and I ate super-healthy for lunch and dinner. I even bi-passed beer:30 and Bosnian pizza at the shop, which is hard to do.

On Tuesday, I took the dog for an even longer dog-jog, about an hour. Then, I rode my bike to the Walnut Creek YMCA for H.E.A.T. class.* Which was hard and awesome. I tried to roll out my tight hamstring on the foam roller. Then, I rode my bike home. In the evening, I met my friend Jessica for a cocktail, but I had a club soda.

I went to "ride your bike to yoga" night at Grassroots Yoga (free if you ride your bike) with my friend Paige, then Paige and I met our boyfriends for dinner at Saints. Again, I bi-passed my normal several beers*, and instead had a super-yummy salad with coconut chicken, avocado and a hard-boiled egg. Then, off to bed.















[Check out my Bike-to-Yoga bag, complete with yoga mat. I had actually biked to yoga with the mat AND my full-size bike pump to fill up Paige's tires.]

I've been counting those calories, focusing on the veggies and lean protein, and trying to keep myself moving, despite the necessity to log in some serious computer time before the semester starts. And, I feel like a million bucks! I forgot how good it feels to be nice to my body, rather than punishing it with workouts after nights of cheeseburgers and whiskey.

Today, I took the dog on a long walk. It's really the only way to keep her from driving me nuts while I am trying to work. I am going to meet Gwyn for some one-on-one training this afternoon at 12:30, and of course, I will ride my bike to and fro. This afternoon and evening, there's going to be some sort of bike-yoga combination. And, if I'm lucky, I can talk the White Tiger into making turkey burgers.

So, in conclusion, I want to say two things. 1) Go me! 2) Thanks for your support, especially Martha and H-Bomb. I want to "win" this one in your honor.

Love, love, love,
Lauren

*Just so everyone knows, Saints charged me 2 bucks a pop for that club soda. It was free at A.K.s. Also, why don't you get free refills on club soda, like you do on pop?

**H.E.A.T. class is populated mainly by super-fit mommy triathletes. These women are freakishly fit. Few men venture into the pit of despair that is Gwyn's H.E.A.T. class. They watch from the weight room windows, cowering in fear. Occasionally, an old guy/former marine runner will join in. He makes a fabulous "hut, hut, hut" yell when he is doing is puddle jumps.

Yesterday, though, a guy joined us. He seemed to be some sort of youth counselor dude, because with him were a few teenage gals that looked a bit "troubled." Like everyone in that class, they were suffering. After class, the guy started yelling about all the "woman power" and how everyone was on his "list." He was going to get everyone back for punishing him during the workout. He put Gwyn on his list and half the mommy triathletes. He was joking, of course.

While he was ranting, I was sitting on the floor texting and trying to regain some composure. He came up to me, and said, "and you, you're on my list too. You've got that 'I'm not going to be last' spirit." Gwyn, who was with me, and I had a laugh. Remember how sometimes I can be tough?

There's a poster in the Walnut Creek YMCA track that says, "no matter how slow you go, you're lapping everyone on the couch." I told Lexi about the quote, and she said, "I think, no matter how slow I go, I am lapping myself when I am on the couch." That's my mantra. Couch-sitters and me as a couch-sitter, you are going down!

The Longforgotten Sweet Taste of Success

Remember how I allegedly write a fitness-lifestyle blog? Nope, me either. It's been three weeks and one peppermint dip cone since my last post. I would love to blame my utter neglect of this blog on something as awesome as moving or healing, but that is certainly not the case.

Yes, I did get busy with the graduation-cup-cake studded weeks that were finals at DMACC, and since the semester came to a close, I have been working on getting my summer classes ready to go, but other than that, I just didn't really feel like I had much to blog about.




















Until Friday.

So, two Fridays ago, I worked out with Gwyn. It was a "core" day. Apparently, my core is about as strong as that of a corpse, because in exercise after brutal exercise, I was failing.

I had been so proud of myself. I rode my bike to the YMCA. Then, because I was early for our session, I hopped on the treadmill and did some jogging. The air conditioning at the YMCA was broken, so I was sweating like a mother, but it was proud sweating.

That's when the chronicle of fail began.

Gwyn wanted me to put my feet on an exercise ball, then get into the plank position, and then, remove one leg from the ball, bring it towards my nose and tuck it under the other leg. Then, reverse the enter process and repeat on the other side. Fail! I would try to remove one leg only to have the other slip off the side and leave me in a pile on the floor.

We did some work in the "chair of death," but I was so sweaty and weak, I kept slipping off. Fail.

I got on the assisted pull-up machine, with as much weight as the machine could displace, and I couldn't even do one pull-up. Fail.

Then, of course, there were the mirrors. I'd look up and see my rear end. Fail.

I've never cried when working out with Gwyn, but I was close.

This last Friday I met with Gwyn again, and things went a little better. Everything we were doing was actually pretty easy. Near the end of our hour, we moved over to the mats do some planky stuff and some Russian twists. Gwyn put my "chart" on the floor and then went and grabbed some tissue. At the top of the page was a note she had written to herself, "Look for a good time for Lauren today."

I can't say for certain what that meant, but I am pretty sure it's Gwyn-speak for "Lauren needs a little confidence booster. Let's take it easy on her today."

Of course, knowing that other people could see that I needed that confidence booster threw me down the spiral stair case of insecurity.

It's hard being my trainer. I am very emotionally needy when I am working out my body. Part of me is like, "no, I want to be pushed," but, not pushed so much that I fail.

Then, I started thinking, this blog has been kind of a fail blog for the last, who knows how many months. I haven't had one real success to crow over in a long, long time. I haven't felt proud of my accomplishments for a long time. I am in some sort of fitness-Bermuda triangle. I can see the island where I would eventually like to steer my ship and wear a bikini, but I am just not getting there.

Not being successful is not the same as failure, of course, but it's also kind of getting to me. I need a slump buster, as the White Tiger would call it. I need a victory, and I am getting dangerously close to having to contribute to the Newt Gingrich for president campaign.

So, this week, I am going for the win. I went to the grocery store and stuffed the fridge full of chopped and ready to go healthy stuff. I carved out my workout time. And, I am going to count calories because that really keeps me accountable. I am looking to lose two pounds this week. Then, I hope, one victory will lead to future victories.

If I can put my nose down and make it happen, and I know I can, then I can get myself out of the Bermuda triangle of failure. Then, perhaps, I will have something to blog about.