R17 13 Ride Out Day 2: I'm Better When I'm Not in Yetter

Old Cemetery Road Wins

We decided to trust the gals in Lake City who sent us out of town on the Old Yetter Road and we headed west through town, laughing at the three children with a lemonade stand in the baking heat on the busy intersection corner.

I was glad that we had grilled the locals because the turn to get to Old Yetter Road was a hidden one, tucked away like a quiet residential street between a yard and an car repair shop. Once we found it though we were rewarded with a bit of shade and a glorious downhill to the cemetery. 

Then we slugged our way up the curving hill and were back out on country roads. Steven and the Mayor slipped off the front and I was once again alone on the highways, ticking each light pole as it went by. It one point I got to see a guy mowing the ditches. That was sort of interesting.

I turned left at the turn and then slowly, slowly, crawled towards Yetter. Oh my Lord. Nothing felt so hard or painful than the moment when I realized that I would have to ride off the highway to get to "town," another two blocks or so. Why? Why couldn't it just be there? 

Steven and the Mayor were already lounging in the pokey grass under a shade tree. I dumped my bike and joined them. Trucks roared by, kicking up dust and gravel, and I just laid there, staring up through the leaves, wishing for death. This was not fun. 

A word on fun. Steven and the Mayor seemed to be having a great time! You all know Steven. Nothing gets that girl out of sorts, well almost nothing. Stay tuned for the Clear Lake Report. And the Mayor, well, if he is on a bike, he's happy. And the Ride Out was great fun for them. They were having the time of their lives. 

But then I realized something. Steven and the Mayor don't have actual fun any other time of the year. Through the combined factors of two small children, work and achievement addictions, and stinginess, they don't really have normal people fun. They don't really go on vacation or do any of the activities that regular people would do to blow off steam and relax. All they do is ragbrai and now, I guess, the ride out. 

The Ride Out plus Ragbrai was their vacation. And it 10 days away from the demands of their children. Their fun-o-meter has been lowered to the point where riding your bike in the steaming outback of the Iowa countryside is fun. This was their Caribbean cruise! This was their sail boat adventure! This was their spa day! 

Throughout the rest of the Ride Out I kept asking Steven, "is this fun?" And she would say, "yes, this is fun." 

So there we were having "fun" on the side of the road in Yetter when a large truck stops. The back was full so he couldn't give us a ride, but the man inside hopped out and chatted us up. It turns out, he and his wife had gotten on a "health kick" and had started taking these supplements--he handed samples to Steven and the Mayor. He thought we might like these samples and maybe to become a part of his pyramid scheme empire. 

Also, he told us, there is nothing in Lytton. There used to be, but not anymore. Better to just press on to Sac City. "It's better in Yetter, but you'll be shitting in Lytton" he told us. Then hopped back in the truck and drove away. I was annoyed that I hadn't gotten any free samples until Steven later informed me that they were terrible--Total Raz-a-Daz tasted like chemicals. But that's okay. Steven had "fun" drinking it anyway.

Eventually, Steven and the Mayor scraped me off the ground, plopped me back on the torture device, and we were on our way to Sac City. And what a strange road that would turn out to be.