2012 Resol-EWWW-tions

True to form, I am just getting around to the annual fitness-blogger resolutions for 2012.  But this year, I didn't want to make a bunch of resolutions.  While anyone who has read this blog knows how I feel about the importance of goal setting, resolutions, as such, haven't really been working out so much.  

Just as I believe in goal setting, I also believe in the power of experimentation.  

So, for 2012, I wanted something more grand, more all encompassing, more dynamic.  Instead of a bunch of resolutions, I've decided, that I will give the year a theme, a power word, a concept, and use that as a vehicle towards self-betterementifcation.  

And, my theme, ba-ba-ba-ba-bum....fearless.  (Fearlessness as grammatically needed.) 

It's corny, I know.  I hate writing it or saying it out loud.  But, inside my head, it is working this way.

DRAMATIC RE-ENACTMENT OF LAUREN'S 2012 MENTAL PROCESS

Old Scared Me: Ahh, voicemail!  It's probably something horrible and complicated and awkward.  I don't want to listen to it.  I am scared.  I don't want to call back.  I hate talking on the phone because I am scared. 

2012 Fearless Me: Don't be scared, Lauren.  Instead, be brave.  Don't put off listening to that voicemail.  Listen to it right now.  It probably won't be a big deal, and if it is, just deal with it.  You can do it.  You've always been successful when you have given it your all!  Be fearless!

Old Scared Me: Ugh, I am dieing.  I am no longer living inside Lauren....what a world, what a world...no longer will I enable her to procrastinate or not go after the life she wants or live every minute or ride down hill at an un-granny-like pace.  I won't be able to keep her from grabbing life by the cajones because I am don't exist.  Ahh!  The agony!  

2012 Fearless Me: [dramatic, conquering laughter] Ba-ha-ha-ha, Bah-ha-ha-ha!!!

le fin

So, that's what's going on in my brain right now.  And, it feels good.  Really good.  Powerful, potent, and effective.  

But, in all of this positive, post-resolution, fearless bliss, there is one hang up.  Fat and fatness.  

Since taking unpaid leave from my healthy habits in December and continuing without severance for the month of January, re-chunkification is setting in, and at an alarming pace.

Take a look at me last weekend.  I was visiting my parents in Arkansas.  Here's a picture of me and the Tiger in Eureka Springs. 

Non-plussed chunk.

See that?  Chunky monkey!  No me gusta.  (I didn't really lose any weight during Beav-X-90, but I did build up a bunch of muscle and moved my chunk to more aesthetically pleasing locations.  I think all that muscle is now lard).

And, what's worse, the scale is confirming my worst fears.  It's not Shark Week weight or post-holiday bloat: it is scale creep, and it is no bueno. (Worse still, my mom threatened to frame this picture and display it on her wall!  Maybe vanity is the best motivator?).  

What's a girl to do?  

Be fearless!  

Fearlessly tackle the grocery store and stuff our house with lean protein, vegetables, and fruit.  

Fearlessly hit the gym, Beav-X and Y, and not be afraid to push it hard, ask for help or be a little sleepy after a 5am workout (or drive in the slippery snow like I did this morning).  

Fearlessly train for my 2012 adventures.  My base-line triathlon is less than two weeks away!  Time to swim!

On a related side note, I have an idea for another experiment.  I am sick of counting calories, measuring food, and trying to fight my emotional eating habits.  At least for a few weeks, I am going to give myself permission to eat as much as I want as long as it is a vegetable (prepared in a non-fattening way), fresh fruit, or lean protein.  And, I am going to keep the sugars, fats, and starches to a minimum: they are not banned, just minimized.  

Turns out, I just like to put a lot of food in my mouth, so that food might as well be kale.  I will report back on the results.