R15 46 Boonedocks USA: Still Having Fun

Don't quote me, but I am pretty sure between Webster City and Boonedocks, we found Team Good Beer and their free beer van parked on the side of the road. We pulled a quick beaver-leaver and got in line. 

Team Good Beer is amazing. They get kegs of delicious Iowa Beer and then give it away for free. They only ask that you do one thing to help show their sponsors love: I just wish I could remember what it was. 

More Cheers.

Now, this seems like a new phenomenon to me. When I started doing the ragby, way back in the day, there wasn't delicious, hoppy, high octane beer anywhere. It was Coors Light. That's it. Nowadays, we have not one but two Backpocket Beer stops a day and, if we are lucky, Team Good Beer. Plus our friends with the breakfast RV. All of a sudden we have a solid 4 beer stops a day, outside of the towns. 

We can see how things start to get a bit out of hand. 

But we stopped. I chatted with some DSM cyclists and then we rolled. We rolled under I-35, the halfway point across the state and through Boonedocks, because nothing was happening there and then rolling into the tiny town of Williams. It seemed like nothing was going down, but we found a little down town and a bar selling pork sandwiches and beer out front. 

We got some food and found a shady, somewhat soggy lawn and did some much needed munching. 

The folks who owned the lawn and the house on it were a couple of oldsters, kicking it in lawn chairs. We were quietly eating and listening into their conversation, which included some mention of ladies in their shorts, etc. etc. 

I guess I could be all angry and feminist about oldsters oogling women, but then, the ragbrai gods granted us a big, hunky favor: the hottest guy on ragbrai. 

This dude was massive. Six foot seven inches of muscly, tan, hunkage, with the added charm of a massive tattoo sleeve.

Typical hunk.

Steven and I were drolling. And, we got a picture with him. Me-ow. 

R15 45 Webster City: Still Having Fun

PDBA: Happy Birthday to my buddy Dr. Jason Boehme! He's not a beaver, or a ragbraier, yet! But he should be...If you know him, tell him so! 

Outside of Duncombe we lined up. We put Too Much at the left-front and Grandpa 5.0 at the right front and rolled at a decent pace on towards Duncombe. I have to say, it was a pretty impressive tableau of cycling magic. Soon enough we had the kinks worked out and we were rolling and singing and having a grand old time.

This is when we learned the new beaver song: "We are all the beavers, beavers we are all..." 

TK's Tavern! 

And before we knew it we were parking our bikes in Webster City and rolling up into TK's Tavern. There we found an amazing covered back deck, with plenty of seating and some glorious views of the industrial park behind the building. 

While we were there, we were trying to catch up on our Snap Chatting and trying to catch up with our daily beavers. Goldie and Jenny from the Block were out there somewhere and we wanted to find them. 

Steady...

Of course, we had to get into some trouble too, so Too Much and Pochy showed off their yoga skills, performing the double-decker flying dragon move. And everyone happily peed in the garden next door. 

Ta Da! 

Could Too Much be any cuter? 

I felt like we were just hitting our beaver stride. It was still morning. Everyone was happy, eating, and drinking, and excited for a day. We were handing out stickers and spankings and settling into that day 3 beaver magic you just don't get when you are a day rider. We were in it, deep.

But we couldn't fiddle fuck in Webster City. There was beaver fun to have! We even decided to skip the little town of Boondocks to give ourselves a bit more time in Alden, at the beaver party.

R15 44 One Tiny Town, Two Bars

We rolled into Duncombe moments later. It was one of those poor towns where it is easy to skip, but the Mayor was standing at the intersection diverting traffic into town. We collected ourselves and made our way in the little hamlet. 

2 bars, 1 grain bin

We made plans to meet somewhere, once all our needs were met, and the Mayor and I peeled off and went into the first bar we saw. I got some beers and watched the poor bartenders try to stay on top of all the ragby traffic. It wasn't working. 

Bar for breakfast!

Tip to barowners. Hire lots and lots and lots of help on ragby day. And don't serve anything complicated. Like the bloody mary I ordered ha ha! 

I don't know why we didn't stay here, because it wasn't too busy but we grabbed our drinks, got in line for breakfast burritos, and then met up with the team at the other bar in town. 

Happy Beavers! 

Somehow, like magic, Linda Linda Linda Listen found us in there, which was fabulous. And we drank beers and shot the shit (I believe we were talking about white male privilege), and decided we we would attempt a double pace line as we rolled the straight 8 into Webster City.

R15 43 Tuesdays are for Beavers

Good morning day 3!

All the beavers were excited for Tuesday. It was beaver day! The town of Alden, the meet town that day had been promoting their beaverness for months and we were ready to rock our fancy new jerseys (thanks Too Much) and roll across I-35 in style. 

Of course, we had to get out of Fort Dodge first. Somehow, I took responsibility for the route out of town. I didn't want to go back the way we came, but we had to get around a big golf course. Thankfully, the beavers trusted me, and we rolled through the quiet neighborhoods, around the golf course, and then on to a big four lane road. We weren't on that for too long before we turned back onto a residential road and found ragby. Ah. Home again. 

It was a very flat day. Just 73 miles and only 1,300 feet of climbing, and it was a glorious morning. Cool, clear and lovely. We got separated in the crowds, and I got to chatting with a gal as we rode along, past grain elevators and fields, as the sun rose higher in the sky. 

We were almost to the town of Duncombe when I heard "May Day May Day free beer." I pulled off to the right in a hurry, only to discover that I was on the wrong side. And the free beer breakfast RV was on the left side of the road. It was prime time riding hours and I must have waited on the side of the road for 10 minutes before I could frogger across to my teammates. 

Norman trapped on the wrong side of the road.

Hanging out at our favorite breakfast RV

There I got a coffee, and a free beer, and we did a lot of power posing and happy chatting. 

Steven enjoying her first beer of the day. 

 Soon enough we were getting on the bikes and ready to head on to the first town of the day, but, then, disaster. AKA flat. Steven had a flat. (Steven called the fuzz!). We have always had really good flat luck on ragby. I think I didn't experience any flats by anyone until last year, so this was a bit strange.

The Mayor, TCB

Somehow we convinced the Mayor that he should change the flat, because even though the rest of us can change flats, he would be more efficient and therefore give us more time for beers throughout the day. So, we had a little dance party on the side of the road, and peed in the corn, and heckled ragby.

Nice work you guys! 

You too! 

Killing it! 

 And then, we were off to town #1. Boom!

R15 42 Slacker Sunday

When Pochs was submitting one of her many guest blogs (thanks Pochs), she included a note about a fuzzy memory. Thank goodness I am not the only one with a fuzzy memory here...

Here's what she wrote: 
(Side note - not part of blog - my brain is still a little fuzzy from break.  I remember Panda getting yelled at a lot this year, but I don't remember the specific days that happened.  I know that the morning we left Eldora, Panda made friends with a man who yelled at her, and I believe he yelled at her in Storm Lake.  Do you remember the details of this?  I have a picture of them making friends, but I don't remember the context of the yelling.)

Then she followed it up with this: 

I think I remember now - on the first day, I think she got yelled at for saying "coming off hot" when exiting the road.  Maybe that should be a slacker Sunday.  Also, I think she complimented the old man in Storm Lake, said something like, "you're winning at ragbrai," and he yelled at her. 

Yeah, that does sound familiar...Steven getting yelled at. Does anyone else recall this? Steven getting scolded and then eventually finding and befriending (as only she can) the people who yelled at her? If you can recall this detail, we'd love to see it in the comments! 

R15 41 Pochy's Day 2 Pro Tip

 I learned a very important lesson between Sunday and Monday of RAGBRAI; Bike shorts = you get what you pay for. 

Classic Pochs

Back in 2014 when Norman was trying to lure me into Team Beaver, I wasn't really sure if biking was going to be my thing.  I knew how to ride a bike, and I rode for fun sometimes, but I was not sure if serious cycling was for me.  (In my mind, Team Beaver is very serious cycling)

I was trying to be open minded while also remaining non-committal.  Norman was very supportive of this (she knew she would win), so she let me borrow a bike of hers... for two years.  This worked really well because we're the same height and she needed some bike storage space!  In the interest of not spending much money, I went out and bought one pair of bike shorts to accommodate my one day of RAGBRAI 2014.  These shorts were cheap.  I had no reference point, I didn't know how bad they really were. 

I wore the cheap shorts on Sunday, The Worst Day.  Sunday, the day I was hurting so badly I couldn't even sit down on my bike seat. Sunday, the day that I rode too many miles and climbed thousands of feet.  

I knew I needed a boost of confidence going into Monday, so I decided to go all out with my new Team Awesomeness kit! Yes - that is a very nice and somewhat expensive kit... paired with chacos. ​

Nothing like wearing a pro level kit paired with sandals. 

Oh My Beaver!  Sitting on my bike with those luxurious bibs was life changing.  The comfort!  I had no idea how horrible the cheap shorts were until I slipped on these fantastic bibs.  I could ride all day!  Nothing hurt!  Another bonus - BIBS!  I think I found my new favorite (although kind of terrible) look on RAGBRAI! ​

Picture from the future, but great demo of her comfort and ease!

PSA for all new Beavers: Invest in comfort and quality.  Trust me, it's worth it. 

I got a follow up email after this one titled, "Another Thing I Remember from Day 2." 

We finally started a Beaver Paceline on Day 2.  There were a few stretches of long, flat road that seemed endless, and I remember some side-wind at one point, and that is when we decided that the best way to get through the day was to join up tire to tire and paceline it out.  

My favorite thing about the Beaver Paceline (and I believe a lot of other people love this as well), is that the pace is slow and steady.  We are not showing off.  We are not zooming ahead and making all the other riders feel bad.  We ride at a pace that can be maintained by every Beaver, and we allow non-Beavers to hop on if they need a little boost. 

We eventually started a side by side paceline, but I'm not sure if we did that on Day 2

R15 40 Steven Weighs In On the Dodge Drama

RAGBRAI is a mind fuck.

Let me tell you why.

For me, it is all about pressure. At points, I feel pressure to ride the RAGBRAI that I want to ride. Then, I feel pressure to ride the RAGBRAI that I am supposed to ride.

Add to that the brews, the h-anger, and being the only married couple on the team -- and, well, you have a recipe for irrational Steven.

You've heard the story of my hissy fit in Ft. Dodge. And I won't deny it -- it was a doozy. But it wasn't because I was mad. And, as Normie has often reminded me, pretty much every time I have yelled at her on RAGBRAI, she has had no reason why in the moment. So, I thought I would borrow some space on Half the Rice to explain some things.

First, we must back up. To two years ago. I was fat and pregnant and missing the fun that everyone was having. I wrote about it, here and posted this pic.

Mostly, I felt like RAGBRAI 2013 was the year that everyone ran themselves ragged by throwing caution to the wind and partying like rockstars (including several trysts down. The Spazmatics played and Team Beaver got a shout out. When Normie retold the story, she wrote things like:

"Then, we headed over to the square to get ready for what would be the climax of the ragbrai: the Spazmatics!"

"Then, we proceed to rock out. I was near the front, making friends, dancing, getting stickered, and having the time of my life. Masinga joined me and we danced up a storm."

"I think even the Mayor and the Ranger caught Spazmatic-Ragbrai fever."

"When the band was over, we stumbled back to camp through the streets of Fairfield, 'oh please,' I begged, 'let's just have one more beer'"

Sounded like a really, really, really good time. I was bummed to have missed it. More than bummed. I felt really left out. So imagine my excitement when RAGBRAI announced that Spazmatics would be playing in Fort Dodge in 2015. Woohoo. And good news -- it seemed other Beavers were excited, too!

Linda, Linda, Listen.

We got into Fort Dodge and I won't lie -- I was really feeling like I had owned it. I had strung together an entire day of Yes-es (Yeses? Yesses?). I was a Yes Woman! I was so excited to continue the yes-ing with some Spazmatics.

I came to talk to the whole crew and was surprised to meet some hesitance. I may be delusional (I mean, I was a bit tipsy from the road), but it felt like the Beavers may be able to be convinced. I started to employ my usual charm campaign, which often gets a bit chippy when I am over-boozed or underfed. It is a fine line between charm and menace. Most of the team was on the fence and I was waiting for Normie to weigh in...as I knew that she was the Beaver Matriarch. She said she was hanging at camp and hitting the sack. I pushed a bit and was met with a dismissive Beaver crew.

I did stalk off to my tent. There was violent zipping. There was a wonderfully empathetic check-in from Ma.Sing.Ga. as well as some angry whispers to the Mayor.

RAGBRAI is not really about the fun, but about the friends to share the fun with. Nobody was up for joining me, so it didn't happen.

I was sad and felt sort of made-fun-of. I know that it probably doesn't make sense or even seem rational for that matter. As I sit on my couch in the dead of winter writing this post, I realize that most of emotion came from the pressure I was putting on myself to try to regain RAGBRAI fun from the past. I guess I just wanted some partners in crime and it didn't work out.

So, there you have it. A bit of RAGBRAI heaviness in January. I'd love to say my behavior got more rational as the week went on, but, well, as you will find out...that is simply not true. But, what is RAGBRAI without a few ginger chunks on your shoulders and some screaming on the side of the road?

Onwards.