Habit Building: Dream Squelching

I drive a hoopty.  I bought my 2001 Mazda Protege with my Hurricane Katrina FEMA money back in 2005.  Since then it has seen me through 2 cross country moves, a travel book, and much more.  It's been my turtle shell and my under appreciated and under maintained work horse.  But, it is showing its age.  

Last spring, while driving down to Arkansas, the speakers went out.  No, not the radio, the actual speakers.  (The radio console display has never worked, so I always relied on books on CD.)  Since then, I have been listening to books on my phone.  On the interstate I have to nestle the phone under my bra strap so it is close enough to my ear to hear over all the white noise.  Various attempts at battery powered speakers have failed.  

The upshot of this speaker failure is that I have been listening to some interesting books.  I finally got through the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.  Because I got a lot of bang for my buck, I bought War and Peace which is 60 hours worth of listening.  I am through the first 2.5 parts before I needed a break.  And, I cried my way through Wild: Lost and Found on the PCT even though I wasn't a fan of the writing.  I have also been listening to books that I have been meaning to read but never get around to: How Children Succeed by Paul Tough on the importance of non-cognitive skills.  Today, I am listing to Charles Duhigg's The Power of Habit.  

It is written like most of these hip, semi-scholarly books that focus on one critical element and use character studies to get them across.  A bit Gladwell, a bit Freakanomics, a bit self-help: I am liking it, and I am hoping it might guide me to establish and reestablish some of the good habits I used to have in my fitness and eating life.  

Habits are pretty fascinating.  They are things that we do with the lizard part of our brain.  We do them without thinking, and so while they are pretty complex, they are also pretty easy.  A habit is formed when you have a trigger, an action, and a reward.  The brain starts craving the reward before the action, and then a habit is formed.  

The argument is that if we can figure out our triggers, actions, rewards and cravings, we can either create new habits or we can change old habits.  

The reward and craving the reward is critical.  So, as I think about getting back on track with a regular gym schedule, I have been thinking about a reward for myself.  Something I can crave and work towards when I am thinking about flaking out.  (Not ready to deal with old habits, like every time I work on a computer I want to eat something sweet, but we will get there, I hope.)

So I said to myself, "Okay, Rice, we will establish some goals for this week.  And, if you achieve those goals, you can buy something."

I find shopping has many of the same go-go-happy feelings associated with it as does eating or drinking, but without the calories.  

I read a lot of Outside magazine while flying hither and yon this summer, and in one article they talked about the Nike Fuel Band, a little watch that keeps track of movements and helps track calories burned.  It's pricey, like $170 bucks, but it seemed pretty cool.  "Okay," I thought, "if I can just get through a week of reasonable goals, I can buy myself a Nike Fuel Band."  

Baby steps.  (I talked to a guy on RAGBRAI who had done an impressive 18 years.  I asked him how he did it and he said, "one mile at a time.").

The building blocks of a new habit.  

• Trigger: getting up in the morning.
• Action: going to the gym or working out.
• Reward: shopping for a cool new gadget.

Then, I told the Tiger about this plan.  

Big Mistake.  

"Oh, I've heard those are kind of worthless," he said.  "I just don't trust them or the technology."  

The logical part of my brain thought, "what the f does he know?  He heard his friend say one thing about it and he doesn't even remember the conversation!  Don't listen to him!"

The non-logical part of my brain was crushed.  

"I mean, but you can still get it.  Get it if you want to!  I mean, do some research, but yeah, I think it's a good idea," he back pedaled.  

But, no, the dream was squelched.  The squid-ink black cloud of doubt covered thoughts of my reward.  Now, even if I got the Nike Fuel Band, I would just be thinking about how it probably was worthless and a waste of money anyway.  It was sullied.  No longer this nifty gadget that would be my fitness buddy on the long road ahead.  It was "just a cool watch," a waste of money, and now it always would be.

Sigh.  

Perhaps another habit we need to work on in the Tiger Den household is this one: 

• Trigger: Rice expresses something she is excited about it.
• Action: Tiger squelches dreams with unfounded, Teutonic-doubt.
• Reward: Tiger experiences that very German-happy place caused by inflicted schadenfreude on the people he loves.
• Craving: Rice's self-doubt makes her want to eat all of the leftover Chinese food in the fridge, without even heating them up.  

Author's Note: After I explained to the Tiger how his unfounded-doubting squelched my dreams, he was incredibly sorry and apologized several times.  I also tried to squelch one of his dreams, but he wouldn't reveal any of them at this time.  Revenge is not an ideal relationship-strategy, I realize. 

Anyway, so here are my sad little baby step goals for this week, that have no reward at the end of the rainbow if I do actually accomplish them.  I'll just begrudgingly accomplish them, I guess.  

1. Work out 5 times this week.
2. Eat 90% well at least 5 days.
3. Don't drink beer every day.
4. Lose 1.5 pounds. 
5. Drink 2 liters of water a day. 

Whatever.