New Year Part 3: What's on Lauren's Fitness Calendar

January 4, 2011: 2 mile jog, 40 minutes weight lifting.
Total Janathon Jogging Miles: 4.2
Total Janathon Blogs: 3

I might, in fact, be the slowest runner ever. It looks like I am running, and from the huffing and puffing, I sound like I am running, but when I compare miles to clocks, well, I am pretty darn pokey. I took my first 2-miles of a new training program at a regal 5.0 miles an hour this morning. My average speed is so slow, my Droid Calorie Counter doesn't even consider it running. It hurts when even your phone thinks you are slow. My PR for a 5k is longer than many people run twice that far. To all of these seemingly disheartening facts, I say, whateves.

I am slow. That's fine. I don't love running. That's fine, too. I do it because it's a challenge and it's good for me, all fine with me. I am just putting it out there that I acknowledge that I am slow and that I am fine with that fact.

Welcome to the 3rd installment of my New Years Reflection.

Today, we will discuss my fitness event calendar for 2011.

A caveat: I am starting a recruitment campaign for any and all of the following events. If you would like to join me in these endeavors, please, let me know. I would be happy to have you.

Of course, you will be inducted into Team Beaver if you are not already a member. The benefits of membership include a t-shirt with a sassy nickname on the back. In addition, you will be welcome to participate in other Team Beaver sponsored events, or initiate your own Team Beaver events.

The drawback is that you will have to put up with my often fun, but occasionally moody and sometimes crazy self during said events. Please contact me at lewisandclarkcrush@gmail.com for more information.

January--Janathon! Starting the new year with 31 days of jogging and blogging.

February 12--Red Flannel Run--The Red Flannel Run is an annual event held at the Riverfront YMCA, my YMCA of choice. I love the Riverfront YMCA and the Red Flannel Run, as you might imagine, invites a variety of special outfitting opportunities. Runners can choose between the 5-mile run or the 3-mile fun run.

For some reason, unknown even to me, I have set my sites on the 5-mile run. I've never run 5-miles. Based on my all the whining I do for my two 2010 5ks, you would think I had never run 3-miles before. To aid me in my 5-mile endeavor, I turned to my best running coach: Google. Google turned up this running program which is designed to get novice runners ready for the Shamrock Shuffle in just 8-weeks.

I used the Couch-to-5k training for my victory in Olathe last April and I was surprised with the results. There is a minor glitch, though. Quick calculation: I don't have 8-weeks. I have 6. (Mental note: start designing training programs well in advance of fitness event). As Lexi pointed out this morning when I briefly mentioned this plan, 5-miles is a long time to be outside in the cold, and based on my average speed in general, she could be more right that she knows. Yet, my plan is to persist. If February 12 rolls around, and I don't feel up to 5-mile speed, I will cheat and run the 5-k.

March 27th--Fight for Air Climb. I am having a premonition that about 3 flights into this event when I start to ask myself, why did I decide this was a good idea? I don't know when the Fight for Air, formerly the 801 Stair Climb came on to my mental radar. At one point, my parents offered to pay the registration fee and help me raise money, but I never got around to it.

Then, I heard my former debate partner, Katie Naset did the climb last year. When I saw a photo of her on Facebook, looking svelte and intense, I was impressed. Then, this fall, one of my students, a fireman with asthma started training for the climb. He's going to do it in full fireman gear--an extra 90 pounds! My sister is officially on board and with her barking at me the whole time, I am sure I can drag myself up the EMC Building, Hub Tower, and the Marriott. What am I waiting for?

Well, I don't really know how to train for this one. Perhaps I will head down to Lake Red Rock and practice on the Cordova Observation tower (which apparently has a Facebook page too). At the top, on a clear day, I should be able to see Des Moines and all the many stairs that are waiting for me.

June 4th--Dam to Dam (or something else?) Last April after I finished the Olathe, Kansas 5k, somewhere between making a fool of myself in a cheetah costume and all the free Boulevard Wheat beer I had "earned" by finishing the race, my friend, The Mayor, convinced me that we should run a half-marathon together. He suggested the Olathe Half-Marathon one year from then.

I thought the Dam to Dam--Iowa's premier distance classic--would be a better choice. The Mayor, who is married to Steven, would have a baby and that baby could be stashed with some desperate grandparents whilst we jogged from Saylorville to downtown Des Moines. The race is technically a 20k, just short of a half-marathon, but the mayor and I could trot over to El Bait Shop afterward to drink ourselves silly with some domestic microbrew.

Two problems have arisen. Problem one is my confidence. Can I train for and run a half-marathon? Is that insane? I don't know anything about running, let alone how to decipher complicated terms like "tempo run" and 400m. Runner's World suggests thinking of the half-marathon as a 5-mile, a 5-mile, and then a 5-k. Uh? Can I even run a 5-mile once? My friend Lexi takes runs the Dam-to-Dam every year and she takes it really seriously. Do I even know what I am up against?

Problem 2 is that I heard a rumor that The Mayor has actually decided to train for a 100-mile bike ride instead of a half-marathon. He and his father signed up for the century at the Buena Vista Bike Festival and he won't be able to train for both that event and the Dam-to-Dam. Steven suggested I join them for the Bike Fest or sign up for the Boulder Sunrise Century. I went to the website, and let me tell you, when I read about this ride, I issued the scoff that was heard around the world.












Just take a look at the "Highly Subjective Comparison Chart." Do you see what the people at Bikerpelli are comparing this ride to? The Triple Bypass, also known as the worst idea ever. They describe this ride as "Boulder's strongest century ride." And, "a challenge you'll be proud to conquer." In Boulder terms that means, "uber-fit Boulder ultra-triathletes who've just returned from the Marathon Des Sables out for an afternoon cruise in the fresh mountain air" and "a challenge that will leave Lauren whimpering in despair and shame half-way up a mountain pass."

So, we'll see.

July 24-30th--RAGBRAI: Need I say more? I have 200 days to train approximately 6,000 miles so that I can sag into camp every afternoon with impunity.

August 13-ish--Half-Dome. This notion of this blog began 2008 about half-way up the trail to Yosemite Falls. My friend Jason convinced me that we should try Half Dome while we are camping in Yosemite. We weren't planning on the hike until the second day, so he decided we should do the short hike to the top of Yosemite Falls.

Here's the trail description for the Yosemite Falls hike: one mile of switch backs to Columbia Rock, then an easy half-mile to the view of the lower falls, then two miles of strenuous climbing to the top of the falls. Three miles of hell. I saw U.S. Marines wracked with despair. An Asian exchange student was actually crying. Don't get me wrong, the view from the top was spectacular (see above) but getting up and getting back down left me broken physically and disheartened. I decided (again, where I do I get these ideas?) that I would lose the weight, get in-shape, and climb not just Yosemite Falls, but Half-Dome for my 30th birthday.

Now that it's January, the plan for this 14-mile, 5,000 feet of elevation gain, 12-hour round trip hike, which has been a fuzzy, distant idea for many months, is now coming into to focus and, especially after watching the helpful National Parks video about the climb, I am intimated. Now is the time I need to start really kicking my fitness into high gear, but what if I don't have what it takes to whip myself into that kind of shape? What if I can't reach this massive goal that I've set out for myself (and blogged about)?

The Rest of the Year--after Half-Dome, I don't know. I guess it depends on if I am feeling like a rock star for accomplishing my goals, or if I am feeling like a slug, destroyed by my own lack of determination and follow-through.

Options for the fall include:

The Des Moines Urban Assault. Lexi and I did this one last year and it not only included a slip and slide but also free beer.

The Race for the Cure--I'd love to train and run in this one to show my love and support for my dear friends Momma Wornson and H-Bomb.

My friends Lexi and Jen also discussed doing a triathlon relay. We'd train for all three parts, and then pull names out of a hat the week before the event to determine our fates.

Concluding Remarks--I was so excited to write this blog. Laying out my fitness goals for the year felt like laying out my clothes before the first day of school: full of excitement for the challenges ahead. Now that I am done writing, though, I feel intimidated, daunted even. Eight months is a long time, but perhaps not long enough? If I could pull it all off, it would be a monumental achievement for myself; if not, then what?

It's hard to see how all of this will come together, but as we are learning with the Janathon: it's not a month of jogging and blogging; it's one jog, one blog at a time.